I can't believe where the time has gone. Last year about now we were getting ready to leave for Italy, the year before that I was in the darkest part of my life. Now I look at my son and just can not believe it. I am full of wonder every day, every moment there is a joy that I never thought I would know. I am lucky. I am so very lucky. Last September I wrote about a seagull that flew with me while I rowed, this September I was showing B the orange light on the bird's tummy. He loves birds. He loves the outdoors. He is more than I could have dreamed for. And every day I am thankful.
This morning I had an MRI done. I have pain since the birth that has not gone away. They had ruled most things out. Today it was time to rule out a metastatic cancer. I have been worried about what I would learn this morning. Would it be possible to have my dreams fulfilled only to have them shatter around me. I can't imagine not being with B.
The news was good. It showed no cancer, but pelvic fractures, probably from the 3 day labor. It's rare. It may heal. The pain may go away. I don't care. I just don't care. I am so happy I am healthy. Life is so fragile. What a delicate balance. Some how today I was lucky again. I can't wait to get home, hold him in my arms and count those lucky stars one by one.
I wish I had more time to write. I wish I were recording all these fleeting moments with him. I am taking lots of pictures, and the rest of the time I am drinking it all in.
My dark cloud has lifted. I have been basking in the sun for 8 1/2 months now and I am so grateful.
I still read all of the blogs of the women I first cycled with, if they still post r haven't gone private with their blogs. I have not been one to post much once I became pregnant- I know it may sting, so I keep quiet, but I still champion for each of them. today I learned of the birth of the last to get pregnant. Some had their babies long before me, and now this one just 81/2 months after me, but there has been so much success. I am so happy for us and hope that if someone still reads my blog, that found me and my story along their journey, I want this to bring you hope. There were many days the only glimmer I had was found by reading someone else's story and it pulled me through. No one should endure the struggle. And if today is one of your darkest days, I still have hope for you, even if you don't.
