Make a wish-but not with me!!

I have my preliminary glucose test in a couple hours. I hope I pass!

My aches and pains have really started to worsen and I'm a little nervous how I will fair through the "big" stage of this pregnancy. I feel like a wish bone. How's that you ask? It feels like someone has a hold of each of my legs and is trying to make a wish with my body. My pubic bone hurts so badly. It started being tender a couple months ago, but it is now painful all the time, especially if I am moving at all. That pain also goes into my low back. I want to keep walking throughout the pregnancy, and I will try my best, but DAMN! it hurts.

I don't really think there is anything you can do about it-grin and bear it, I guess. My understanding is that the bone fuses together there with ligaments, and we all know that the hormone relaxin softens and relaxes those ligaments to make room for the babe. So, I know WHY it hurts, but I don't have to like it. It makes sleeping difficult. Any position is uncomfortable (ALREADY! what am I going to do in another month? what about 2!?!?) and when I try to move or roll-EGADS! it's sore!

Well, I hate to complain. I've tried to keep it to a minimum, but I also know sharing what we are experiencing is good for all of us. Maybe someone else had or has had the same thing. Any advice? Does it continue to get worse? Maybe it will somehow miraculously get better? Wishful thinking?

Still in awe

I'm starting to feel more and more connected with this baby. It may be that enough time has passed from the daily blood draws and hormone injections, but with every kick and every day that I wake to find myself still pregnant, I allow myself to believe and love even more. I find myself talking to the baby. Wanting to share the brilliant colors of autumn with him/her. Being aware of his/her routine. Looking forward to our time in the mornings when s/he kicks and moves to awaken me from slumber, the afternoon flurry of activity, the after dinner gymnastics. My hand is usually on my belly feeling all the movement in amazement.

I try, I really do, but it all still seems impossible that in a mere countdown of days we could be parents. I imagine who this little one will be. I just can't fathom how I will feel on the other side. And I can't believe how lucky we are to be here, at this stage, with (so far) a successful pregnancy. I am in awe of the miracle and so grateful for the opportunity.

I'm happy. And still scared.

That simple.

Meme

I've been tagged. Thanks, Ellen. I love reading your blog! All the answers to this meme need to be just one word.

1. Where is your cell phone? handbag
2. Where is your significant other? work
3. Your hair color? brown
4. Your mother? Penny
5. Your father? Ron
6. Your favorite thing? outdoors
7. Your dream last night? Italy
8. Your dream/goal? happiness
9. The room you’re in? office
10. Your hobby? rowing
11. Your fear? loss
12. Where do you want to be in six years? NY
13. Where were you last night? studio
14. What you’re not? tall
15. One of your wish list items? bike
16. Where you grew up? Iowa
17. The last thing you did? photoshop
18. What are you wearing? sweater
19. Your T.V.? small
20. Your pet? Jack
21. Your computer? Mac
22. Your mood? happy
23. Missing someone? father
24. Your car? Camry
25. Something you’re not wearing? hat
26. Favorite store? thrift
27. Your Summer? humid
28. Love someone? always
29. Your favorite color? blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? morning


I don't have many readers. So, Joonie,and Journey, consider yourselves tagged.

Can a single moment fill you up?

Last night in my memory dreams of Italy, between the veils of Venice and fog of Florence, my dad came to me.

I felt his presence before I saw him and the anticipation of seeing him was overwhelming. I waited and watched down the narrow streets ahead of me. I squinted and tried to search for him in the shadows. I knew he was coming. I hoped he was coming. And then he was there. Standing in the distance. Strong, healthy. I ached and yet was filled with so much love and joy to see him.

I've looked night after night for him in my dreams. I've begged him to come to me, and yet, I wake with no memory of seeing him. Now, he was here, walking towards me, and smiling the most beautiful proud smile. I knew without the words. I started to quicken my pace and then began to run. He was so close now. Still smiling, with open arms for me and my baby...

Then, my husband, who hasn't yet recovered from his jet lag, woke up, and jostled the bed enough to pull me from my slumber. Everything started to break up, and began to fade, and I tried to hold on, I closed my eyes tightly and looked for him, but it was too late...he had left. He was gone. I stood alone in the square looking hard once again into the shadows. I spun around looking, looking, only to find I was alone now.

But he was there, and he came to me, and it was the sweetest moment, even it was just that, a single, beautiful, shared moment.

Home, sweet, home

We're back. What an amazing trip! Italy is magical. Full of history and art and glorious architecture. The rolling hills of tuscany soothed our souls, the medieval city of Siena surprised us, the grandeur of Florence inspired us, the jagged rocky shores of Cinque Terre awed us, the mirror-like Lake Como spoke to us, the majestic Italian Alps humbled us, and Venice...just knocked our socks off! Simply an amazing trip.

We are glad to be home, though. I missed our two dear dogs, was nervous a few times about the baby. It's good to be close to my doctor again, just in case. My belly doubled in size, I swear! Who knows if it is all baby, could be the gelato, or the panne cotta, or all the decadent lunches and dinners we indulged in-OH,MY!

I missed you all and thought of you so often. I'm still trying to catch up on reading everyone's blogs. I hope you all had a good two weeks and found only good news around each corner. I can't wait to check in with all of you.
Good to be home.

Last Hurrah!

We are leaving tomorrow for our trip to Italy. When we return we will be under 100 days until for our baby's arrival. That seems impossible!
Have a great 2 weeks everyone! I can't wait to check in with you on my return.

Ciao!!