Made a trip to the hospital this morning for my pregnancy test. My suspicions were on the mark, it was negative. It just doesn't matter how you try to prepare yourself or fool yourself into being prepared, really, it's still devastating. The nurse walks into the room, she startles you from your pacing, and today she didn't even bother to come into the room or shut the door, she just peeked her head around the door while standing in the hallway, and said,"Yep, it's negative".
"Ok, then. Yes, of course, it is. Just let me get my coat." I mumble something about how I should stop the progesterone, yes, I'll do that. Thanks. I scurry down the hall, past waiting room 2 where all the expecting women sit with their perfectly round bellies, and tears roll down my cheeks. My thoughts take over, "It's OK, you're OK, we'll get through this, we'll try again, we can do this, YOU can do this, just keep walking, get to car, just get...to...the...car, no one look at me ,please, look away, look at all the glowing pregnant ladies, not me, please, just get to car...."
I'm so sorry for anyone one else who had a negative test today. I know I'm not alone. That ache, though, sure feels like it's all mine.
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I'm so very sorry. At least you have a plan for IVF and that is very exciting. It will happen!
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